Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear

Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

‘What if I fall?’ Oh, but darling, what if you fly? Erin Hanson

The first quote, attributed to Georg Addair and Chicken Soup author Jack Canfield, perfectly encapsulates the need to move through fear to get what we want. It might be a goal, like writing a book, improving your health or finding a life partner or a desire to reinvent your life, move abroad or find community. Fear keeps us from what we want but what this quote doesn’t say is how difficult it can be to make the journey to the other side, to the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. The second quote by Erin Hanson shows us why taking the risk and moving past fear is so worthwhile.

Monsters on a Boat

Fear is hardwired into humans as a defense mechanism to keep us safe – don’t put your hand on a hot stove, look both ways before you cross the street, avoid dangerous looking people if you’re in a bad neighborhood at 2 a.m. but it can kick in when you move out of your comfort zone. Russ Harris, author of the Happiness Trap perfectly encapsulates this in his fun video Monsters on a Boat: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERXh_dldu71BCCbhyoOVSbD3-dSpcUp9

Unfortunately, the comfort zone can also be a problem because if we stay in it, we don’t experience anything new or get what we really want. But as we move towards what we want, fear gets bigger, and it feels REAL and True. Another problem? When we feel fear, stress hormones flood the body so that we’re ready to fight or flee, but it also makes it really difficult to think clearly. Any thoughts we have can often be catastrophic, which can also keep us from taking any risks.

Action as an Antidote to Fear

There are lots of good books about this, including The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels who advocates moving towards the fear and through it or to imagine you’re old and the regret you’ll have it you don’t take action now, Atomic Habits by James Clear provides a way to build habits that can make moving through fear easier because it builds momentum and Tara Mohr’s Playing Big urges women, especially, to listen to the wise part of themselves and not to shrink but to grow and take up space in the world. To do all this you need courage and perseverance.

Move Through Fear to Start Your Book

It's the same thing with writing a book. You can run a successful business or practice or offer a service like as say, a yoga teacher, functional medicine doctor or psychologist, have a method or plan or approach that works with your clients or patients, credentials that make you an expert and the desire to share what you know with the world. All of this comes to a full stop once fear enters the equation.

Talk Back to Negative, Fear-Based Thoughts

When this happens, first give yourself a good talking to:

1. Ask yourself: Who is the voice of doom and gloom? It might be your parents, a teacher or professor or a bad boss. Whatever it is, if you let their influence rule your thoughts, you’ll feel bad, won’t be motivated or confident enough to move forward.

2. Replace the negative thoughts with positive, self-affirming ones. What are your good qualities? How can you look at the glass half-full rather than half-empty? Act like a defense attorney. How can you rebut what the negative voice in your head is telling you with reality-based arguments? Look back on what you’ve accomplished in the past. Give evidence as to why you can move through fear and get what you want.

When it comes to writing a book, it can help to get specific. Write down:

• Why do you want to write a book? Be honest – is it to share what you know, build your brand, make more money? All are valid reasons.

• What subject do you want to focus on? Is a specific problem or condition like chronic pain or diabetes or is it stress, depression, optimism or something else?

• Who is your ideal reader?

• Why are you the best person to write this book? Remember, don’t listen to the voice of fear, instead take an accurate look at why this is true.

• How can you take the first step to writing your book? For example, creating an outline or Table of Contents, signing up for a course or hiring a book coach.

• What actions can you take on a regular basis to keep moving towards your goal? If you want to self-publish, you can make a commitment to write regularly, if you’d like to be traditionally published, you can work on a book proposal.

As you move through fear, you’ll find three things are true. You are stronger than the fear, you can do hard things, and you can write your best book.

Until Next Time!

Contact me when you’re ready if you need:

1. A book coach to be your editorial guide, support and project manager as you write or re-write your book proposal and/or book.

2. A manuscript evaluation for a big picture, smallest detail overview.

3. A developmental editor to structure your book, and make the text clear, concise, and reader friendly.

4. If you’d like a free copy of my PDF: Is it a Book? The Ten Step Roadmap to Writing Your Best Book sign up for my e-mail list at www.chrystlefiedlerbookcoaching.com.